Marriage: No ego parenting
There's nothing worse than someone who is uninvolved wanting to interject their uninformed opinion, or dictating how to do things without actually knowing if that's possible or having to face the ramifications of the action. If you are going to lead, roll up your sleeves, become informed and do the work. If not, follow the other parent's lead or get out of the way.
Sometimes having a full time job (or more than one!) can leave one parent out of the equation of the medical, educational, behavioral, therapeutic, insurance, services, funding and family dynamics that comes with autism. If that is the situation in your house, support the spouse who is doing the work. Don't make it harder on them, they have enough to do.
Autism can be all consuming, so when you can, get respite care (either by a friend, relative or paid provider) and take a break. You'll need it to last on the long haul.