Siblings: Don’t expend all resources on ASD kids
Hindsight tells us that we must do everything we can, at almost any cost, to heal our kids when they are little, but when you have more than one child, you cannot use EVERYTHING for the child with autism. Siblings need and deserve your time, care and money for things they want or want to do. You will need to be smart with your money to make it spread farther and cover all of your kids. Easier said than done, but it is doable. Make sure you always set a little aside for the siblings and have a plan.
Regardless of autism, if you are not going to be able to pay for the siblings' college, start planning in middle school, because that's when you need to map out the classes and activities they will need to qualify for college scholarships.